Author: Subramani B
Introduction- Presence of Potential
The International Coaching Federation defines Coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
The inherent thought here is.
- The coachee has potential.
- The coachee has the capacity to choose and decide.
- The coachee can take action to manifest their choice.
- The coach partners
The role of a Coach here is to help the Coachee discover and become aware of this inherent potential and to combine this awareness with conscious action to manifest this potential.
In the Chandogya Upanishad, Sage Uddalaka says to his son Svetaketu – “Tat Tvam Asi” – That Thou Art – recognising the inherent potential and divinity within each individual, guiding them towards self-realisation and actualisation of their true potential.
Every coaching conversation creates a platform for the manifestation of this inherent potential. However, this seed of potential needs an environment of trust and safety for it to germinate, and above all the presence of both the coach and the coachee.
What does Coaching Presence mean?
International Coaching Federation defines presence as the ability to “Being fully conscious and present, employing a style that is open flexible, grounded, and confident.”
If we look at each of the words here, we can see how deep this definition is-
- Being – observing, interacting, in stillness, letting things happen.
- fully – physically and mentally, with all senses and emotionally
- conscious – aware of what is happening with the client, within the coach and in-between the two, and all around in the coaching space, fully observant.
- present – here and now, responsive to what is happening in the moment, managing emotions, thoughts, and feelings to stay in present.
- a style – not “the” style. a style that is unique for the coach, his/her own being, authentic.
- Open – transparent, agreed, visible.
- Flexible – not rigid, changing as needed, fluid depending on evolving client, their needs, and their context.
- Grounded – equal, on the same level, curious (Humble Inquiry), ok with not knowing.
- confident – confident in own ability as a coach, and as an individual. confident that I am enough, confident about not being engulfed in the client’s story/ emotions, allowing for pause/ silence.
What is the Essence of Presence?
To comprehend the essence of coaching presence is to understand and imbibe the spirit of letting things happen in the moment, to witness the emerging future while being fully engaged with the client, with self and with what is happening in-between and all around.
What this implies is that there are two aspects to Presence.
- Being in the Present – that is being in the here and now, in the moment
A coaching conversation happens in the present with an understanding that the future is seeded in this conversation. It does not mean that the past is ignored. On the contrary, the past, when seen in the context of the present, helps the client evaluate what continues to serve them and what they may want to let go. A coach dances with the client in the moment, while being aware that the client may be receiving reflections from the past.
Being in the moment is also important for the coach to ensure that they do not drift away or get drawn into the client’s stories. A coach partners but does not become part of the story.
- Being with everything that is Present – being aware of all that is present in that space and time- the coach and the coachee, everything that is going on within both and between them, and the environment.
In the space and time of a coaching conversation, everything that is present has an impact. The environment of the coach and the client, the space between and around them, and the sounds and smells, all trigger thoughts and feelings. To be fully present is to be consciously present with all senses. It is a choice, and an intent to be present.
What happens when the Coach and the Client are Fully Present?
It is a state of stillness, of pure potentiality in which the tiniest ripple can create an exponential impact.
Nasadiya Sukta or the Hymn of Creation in Rigveda, begins with a contemplation on the origin of the universe:
“Neither existence nor nonexistence was there.”
It is a state of pure potentiality, devoid of form or manifestation. In this state, the slightest shift creates multi-dimensional results. The coach, when fully present, allows for this silence, pause and reflection.
In the coaching context, this verse also reminds us of the importance of starting with a blank canvas, free from preconceived notions or biases, embodying a state of open receptivity towards the client’s experience as it unfolds in the coaching session.
In all of this, the choice is being made by the coachee. The coach partners so that the coachee can see their whole self and supports the coachee to choose. When a choice is made in this state of pure potentiality, it has the inherent capability to manifest as this choice is accompanied by:
- an acceptance of what is,
- an aspiration of what can be, and
- action planning indicating how this can be possible.
In quantum physics, Erwin Schrödinger’s wave function describes this state of potentiality. Only the act of looking at / measuring a quantum object “collapses” its wave function and the probability becomes a reality. If you choose not to measure or observe, the probability wave function continues with all possibilities being dormant. The curiosity that a coach demonstrates enables this “measuring or observing” of the probabilities.
How does this impact the Client’s Goals?
In Bhagwad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 47, Lord Krishna advises Arjuna:
“Your right is to perform your duty only, but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.”
If a coach is focussed on getting a result for the coachee in the session, the whole effort is directed towards problem-solving and not towards letting the coachee discover and evolve. The coach has to trust the client and their abilities to get a solution for themselves, in the way they want and at their pace.
In the next verse (Chapter 2, 48), Krishna advises Arjuna to maintain “*Samatvam*” (Equanimity). He says – Perform your duty equipoised, O Arjuna, abandoning all attachment to success or failure. Such equanimity is called yoga.
These verses encapsulate the importance of presence in coaching. For a coach, this emphasises the importance of being rooted in the present moment, detached from the outcome or the desire for an outcome, and maintaining equanimity amidst challenges. This equanimity fosters an environment of trust and safety, allowing the client to explore their aspirations and obstacles without fear of judgment or criticism.
Equanimity is also critical for the coach to manage their own emotions and feelings that arise at the moment. It also enables the coach to operate from a state of not knowing and not assuming.
Obstacles to Presence
“The mind is like the wind and the body like the sand: if you want to know how the wind is blowing, you can look at the sand.” – Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen.
The key obstacle to Presence is the attachment to the factors that cause us to be absent. these factors or interferences are constantly arising primarily from three sources.
- Self-interference – from what is happening within the coach (pre-occupation, mental chatter, what next, analysis, interpretation)
- Environmental interference – from what is happening in the space and time external to both the coach and the client. Also including the device-related interference in online sessions.
- Interference from the client – from verbal and non-verbal signals and gestures from the client (assumptions, transference, projections from the client etc.)
These interferences are happening all the time and the moment a coach clings on to any of the interferences, they can move away from the present space and time.
Presence as a Way of Life
The ability to be present is cultivated through consistent and deliberate practice not just in a coaching session but as a part of one’s day-to-day life. Deep presence in a coaching session can happen only when a coach gradually learns to be always present.
There can be four key steps to help build this muscle.
- Observation – seeing, hearing, feeling, sensing without any judgement, and as they are (without analyzing)
- Awareness – being aware of what is being seen, heard, felt, sensed, and thought.
- Slow down – allow for pause or silence, breathe gently and deeply, and relax.
- Detached-Attachment – as the images, sounds, feelings, and thoughts arise and flow, deliberately choosing to let them go or to pay attention if they matter in the present, without getting drawn into the past or future.
These are not distinct as they happen together and in this present moment of stillness, the future emerges.
An example can clarify this. As I am typing these words, I hear some sounds and smells from the kitchen. I watch my fingers moving on the keypad as I type and I can sense the gentle pressure on my fingertips, I correct the typing mistake and then pause. The sounds and smell from the kitchen have made me aware of the approaching breakfast time. There is a curious thought about what breakfast could be. The breeze from the fan suddenly reminds me how hot it is even at 8 o’clock in the morning. I remember that it rained 2 days back. I also become aware that my mouth is dry. I fill a glass of water and take a few sips slowly feeling the cool sensation in my mouth. This is the present. This pause makes me aware that I am writing about presence, and I come back to this article. I observe, become aware, slow down as I drink water, and choose all in a fraction of a second.
Conclusion
A coach’s ability to be present is reflected in their depth of focus and partnering with the client. This means observing the client as a whole in the coaching process and thus looking at the “what” and “who” aspects as reflections of each other. Further, it involves being comfortable with both silence and conversation, being fully present with all senses and, allowing the future to emerge.
